Whether you have just broken up with your ex a few days ago, or whether it’s been a couple of weeks, you must start to apply the no contact rule if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back.
What is the no contact rule?
The no contact rule is simple. If you want to get back together with your ex . You must avoid contacting them, however tempting it might be.
The purpose of this is to allow yourself time to heal and move on from the breakup. You can then re-establish contact with your ex after some time has passed.
After breaking up, you are usually in panic mode, which drives you to keep texting, calling, emailing and doing whatever it takes to try to make things right. Constantly calling and saying that you are sorry and that you promise to change will only make you look desperate and needy. This, of course, will never work.
Why the No Contact Rule Works
You might think that by not communicating with your ex, he/she will forget about you. The opposite is often the case. The person will start to miss you and will be curious as to what is going on in your life. Therefore, they will be the one who decides to call you. This puts the ball in your court – it is always better to be the one who is in control and who has the final say.
A crazy thing happens when you show another person that you don’t want or need them. By giving yourself enough time, you realize that you can manage just fine without your ex. Your ex will be able to subconsciously pick up on this next time you contact them. He or she will see that you are happy.
Giving off the impression that you don’t need them anymore will only serve to make them long to get back with you, rather than it being the other way round. This works so well because everyone seems to want what they can’t have; it is just human nature to behave like this.
What If I Am Tempted to Break the No Contact Rule?
You might want to break the no contact rule and it is easy to see why – you have that feeling in your stomach that makes you want to hear their voice again, or you might even be calling with the intention of begging your ex to take you back. You might even think you have a great reason for contacting your ex, but more often than not, you want to find an excuse, any excuse, to initiate contact.
When it came to breaking up, you might have been in the right or the wrong, but once you are broken up, it doesn’t matter anymore. The very best thing you can do is to give the other person time.
We’ve all given into temptation but then discovered that breaking the no contact rule was the worst thing we could have possibly done. What usually happens is that the conversation turns awkward. Or even worse, there is no answer when you call, leaving you embarrassed and angry at having tried to get in touch.
Avoiding the temptation of breaking the no contact rule will show that you are confident, and everyone, both men and women alike, know how attractive and sexy confidence can be.
What Happens If I Bump Into My Ex?
When you are in school or work in the same office as your ex, it can be hard to completely avoid each other. If you do happen to bump into your ex, then keep the conversation very short and amicable instead of talking about the breakup, or how lonely you are without them.
Remember to always be the one who ends the conversation. Again, this will reinforce the fact that you are managing just fine, and are getting on with your life.
How Long Should I Follow the No Contact Rule For?
As it is not an exact science, it is hard to give an exact timeframe when it comes to this process Everyone’s situation will be different, and no two exes are the same when it comes to temperament.
However, it is recommended to allow 2-4 weeks in which you make no contact, and I mean absolutely no contact whatsoever.
You can extend this timeframe, as typically, the longer you have no contact with your ex, the higher the likelihood they will miss you is.
What Can I Do While I Wait?
Waiting until you re-establish contact can get boring. Therefore, I recommend going to the gym so you start to look better as well as feel more confident (your ex will definitely notice these changes when you next see them); take up a new hobby (this is a good idea as it can keep your mind off your ex as well as curbing the temptation to initiate contact ); and start to read some books on how to get your ex back and how you can effectively start to apply the no contact rule (this will put you in the best possible position to get your ex back next time you see them).